And the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters...

The alarm sounded at 4:50...it was the middle of the night. I hadn't undressed from the evening before. Moccasins and all, I had crawled into bed after the House dance party. This was it - the last QEI initiation morning. We waited for the train. And waited. Train. We walked toward the water - a black night slowly, slowly, fading into morning bliss. The city was alive, yet still. The cold wind cut right through me. I was naked and exposed before a God I have loved with my lips but removed from the position of Lover.

I know in my head that I have to seek You.
I must. I must.
Oh, God.
I do the things I don't want to do and the things I want to do, I don't do.
I am so human.

Want Jesus. Want Jesus for who He is - because He is Love. Because He is Peace. Because He is Joy.

The waters were dark and they were deep. I felt drawn in and down and away from it all at the same time.

My God. You want all of me. Every corner and crevice and corridor and dungeon deep and steeple exalted. I am a castle with walls high but not thick. The musk of Your Spirit still fills the hollowed halls...lingering.

Manna

Daily Bread. Sigh. The Lord has been teaching me about contentment lately. I have to say that it is not the easiest lesson I have even learned - nor is it the most difficult. Often, I find myself wishing for yesterday and wanting tomorrow. I know that both these things (within reason) are a waste of time. Life today - in the here and now is what we are called to. Does this mean we stop making plans? No. But, it does mean that we hold things with an open hand a bit more that we would like to. How often I want to clutch the things I desire, the things I value, as if I could never let them go? This clutching is motivated by fear. Fear is not of the Lord. What would happen if I lived my life as if the living God-man of Jesus Christ was really my all in all, my total sufficiency, my bread? I would probably begin to realize, even if ever so slightly, that it is just not about me. It's about joy in the midst of pain. It's about joy in the midst of triumphs. It's about "being third." Oh how I desire to be content. What blessings, what kindness the Father has lavished on us, that we may be called sons and daughters of God. This still gets me...almost 20 years after asking Christ into my heart. As it should. And may it always. He, He Himself is our Daily Bread.

I Chased

Wind in the willows Ye bayed and howled
and like a coon dog out on the prowl I caught Your scent and chased You down down down through the valleys up up o'er the mountain pass
I caught Your scent and chased you down

I boarded a ship alone next morn and sailed - I sailed Your way that day
I ventured off to unknown lands - You had swept me away
I reached Your shore; that courageous land
And I chased You 'cross the moor

I found You there, Your scent come o'er the sea.
You settled in for the evening time,
Your head upon the willow tree.

A Little Mountain Wedding

Just got back to the city from Colorado. Britt and Aaron got hitched after being together for five years! Praise the Lord! I was reminded again of the beautiful picture marriage is for us as the bride of Christ. We are to be waiting in anticipation for the day our groom will come and escort us home to be with Him. Britt and Aaron have such a selfless love for one another and for the people around them. It was such a joy to be there and celebrate with them this weekend! I could not have asked for a better trip! Spent time with Mom and Dad, caught up with old friends, made some stellar new ones, danced, ate good food, drank good (home brewed) beer, breathed the cool mountain air, and thanked the Lord for dear friends finding eachother. Amen!! B and A, may the Lord bless you both as you make Him the priority of your hearts.

Heritage - A favorite poem

I am a seamstress in Munich,
And a farmer on the moor.
A voyage across the sea,
And a landing on the shore.

I am a woman red
Stripping husks of corn.
With blackened hair and broken braids,
Hands deep-cracked and worn.

I am a glass of chardonnay
And grapes grown up a vine.
An old church on the highway,
Just past the city sign.

I am a little black comb
And a simple wedding dress,
A father taken early,
And a mother knowing best.

I am the hot Texas sun,
And a gentle winter snow.
A road winding, winding,
A road curving, bending, binding.

I am a road that does not end,
And does not rhyme.
I am that road,
That road of time.