He's Coming

So often I feel like this:

I had a fleeting thought this morning
And I mentioned You today
It breaks my heart just to know You in part
And not to be with You where You are.
("I Miss You" by Shane and Shane)

This is "the already but not yet" - the tension which illuminates our dual citizenship. I am the citizen of an earthly kingdom and a citizen of a heavenly kingdom. How do I live each day with this tension pulling me in different directions? I know that God wants to bring His kingdom here on earth - that is not something we have to ask for. God has called us - He has invited us - to be part of bringing redemption to all things. We join Him in that. We JOIN God in the renewal of all things. Wow. I love thinking about how even nature is groaning and waiting - eagerly anticipating the day all things will be made new.

So often I find myself caught in the cycle of the daily grind - as if this world is all there is. How dare we live as if we have no hope?! We make light of the cross and the sacrifice of Christ when we live this way. We have been given hope through a new life in Christ - the promise of a life beyond the now we see.

I heard a story once that continually (if I let it) brings perspective and conviction to my heart. A little girl comes home from Sunday School with a cardboard paper towel roll decorated with stickers and glitter glue and paint. Several days later, her mother sees her in the yard peering towards the sky through her "telescope." "What are you doing, honey?" her mom asks. The little girl replies with confidence, "Mommy, Jesus is coming back...and I'm watching for Him." I love the simple faith on display here. Christ has died and Christ is risen and Christ will come again.

May we wait in anticipation for this day - with hope for what is to come. Romans 15:13 says, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Lift your eyes. Proclaim His coming.

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." -CSL, Mere Christianity-

I skype...a lot

Fall thoughts

I'm sitting in the apartment listening to the beat of Korean drums outside my window. There's quite the parade going on. Floats and bright dresses and waving stewardesses. Ha! This is why I love New York. I called Kris (the lover of all things Korean) to tell her. I'm sure they were playing Seventy-six trombones at the beginning. Oh...now it's Yankee Doodle Dandee.

My cousin Lizzy is in town for the weekend on a school trip. Really looking forward to spending time with her today!

I have no idea how many people read this blog but I figured I'd give a little update on life. Over the last three months I have felt strongly that the Lord desires me to pursue counseling as a vocation. It has been such a joy to be able to walk in confidence to this end. I am continually reminded that ministry is not a chosen career path - it is a way of life. I am not able to change people myself, I simply point them to the cross.

The Lord gave me a really cool tangible visual last month. It's a picture of Secular Psychology versus Biblical Counseling. Psych (without Christ) is like a band-aid in that it does indeed help, but the help is temporary - it does not address the root of the problem. Biblical Counseling however, is like surgery. It hurts more and takes more time, but it addresses the real problem (sin) and works to bring it to light (through the Truth of the Word) so that the Lord can deal with it.

That said, I am seriously considering getting my MA in Biblical Counseling in the fall. I am researching Westminster in PA, The Master's near Los Angeles, and Faith Baptist Church in Lafayette, Indiana.

Please pray with me that the Lord would make it clear what he has in store. I am so blessed to have a peace about finally pursuing something concrete.

Off to see Liz! May you agree with God in all things today!

And the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters...

The alarm sounded at 4:50...it was the middle of the night. I hadn't undressed from the evening before. Moccasins and all, I had crawled into bed after the House dance party. This was it - the last QEI initiation morning. We waited for the train. And waited. Train. We walked toward the water - a black night slowly, slowly, fading into morning bliss. The city was alive, yet still. The cold wind cut right through me. I was naked and exposed before a God I have loved with my lips but removed from the position of Lover.

I know in my head that I have to seek You.
I must. I must.
Oh, God.
I do the things I don't want to do and the things I want to do, I don't do.
I am so human.

Want Jesus. Want Jesus for who He is - because He is Love. Because He is Peace. Because He is Joy.

The waters were dark and they were deep. I felt drawn in and down and away from it all at the same time.

My God. You want all of me. Every corner and crevice and corridor and dungeon deep and steeple exalted. I am a castle with walls high but not thick. The musk of Your Spirit still fills the hollowed halls...lingering.

Manna

Daily Bread. Sigh. The Lord has been teaching me about contentment lately. I have to say that it is not the easiest lesson I have even learned - nor is it the most difficult. Often, I find myself wishing for yesterday and wanting tomorrow. I know that both these things (within reason) are a waste of time. Life today - in the here and now is what we are called to. Does this mean we stop making plans? No. But, it does mean that we hold things with an open hand a bit more that we would like to. How often I want to clutch the things I desire, the things I value, as if I could never let them go? This clutching is motivated by fear. Fear is not of the Lord. What would happen if I lived my life as if the living God-man of Jesus Christ was really my all in all, my total sufficiency, my bread? I would probably begin to realize, even if ever so slightly, that it is just not about me. It's about joy in the midst of pain. It's about joy in the midst of triumphs. It's about "being third." Oh how I desire to be content. What blessings, what kindness the Father has lavished on us, that we may be called sons and daughters of God. This still gets me...almost 20 years after asking Christ into my heart. As it should. And may it always. He, He Himself is our Daily Bread.

I Chased

Wind in the willows Ye bayed and howled
and like a coon dog out on the prowl I caught Your scent and chased You down down down through the valleys up up o'er the mountain pass
I caught Your scent and chased you down

I boarded a ship alone next morn and sailed - I sailed Your way that day
I ventured off to unknown lands - You had swept me away
I reached Your shore; that courageous land
And I chased You 'cross the moor

I found You there, Your scent come o'er the sea.
You settled in for the evening time,
Your head upon the willow tree.

A Little Mountain Wedding

Just got back to the city from Colorado. Britt and Aaron got hitched after being together for five years! Praise the Lord! I was reminded again of the beautiful picture marriage is for us as the bride of Christ. We are to be waiting in anticipation for the day our groom will come and escort us home to be with Him. Britt and Aaron have such a selfless love for one another and for the people around them. It was such a joy to be there and celebrate with them this weekend! I could not have asked for a better trip! Spent time with Mom and Dad, caught up with old friends, made some stellar new ones, danced, ate good food, drank good (home brewed) beer, breathed the cool mountain air, and thanked the Lord for dear friends finding eachother. Amen!! B and A, may the Lord bless you both as you make Him the priority of your hearts.